Posted in Humor

Childhood is Wasted on Children

Children happy
Created on Splash

Children are so unappreciative and ignorant of the allowances awarded them. I like the little snot-nose chumps as much as the next person but, let’s face it, they are oblivious to how much they are allowed to get away with. How much fun they are only years away from being forbidden to have. Polite society is creeping up behind them as we speak.

Don’t get me wrong, there are definite perks to being an adult such as access to wine and buying all the cheese you want. But if I don’t like someone’s shirt I can’t just tell them that or I am considered rude.

I think it’s time to come together and hold toddlers and small children accountable for their behaviors. However, to hear my family and friends opinions, that is not going to happen anytime soon. So let’s just adjust societies’ rules and expectations to be equal for all of us.

I would like to see the following changes in my lifetime. More specifically, in the next year.

Bellies

It is so ironic to consider a grown person’s belly unattractive but a four-year-old can have a belly and it’s adorable. They’re lovingly referred to as the Pillsberry doughboy and poked affectionally in their fat stores. But if we, as adults, dare to get a belly (made with fat just like theirs), we are gifted with CrossFit Gift certificates or weight lectures from our parents.

Kid Gloves

God forbid, you hold a four year old accountable in a competitive match. You are glorified for winning against someone your own age but not letting a kid win in candy land makes you mean? Even if you try to help them by giving them tips to not be a loser? I just don’t understand. I thought all criticism was acceptable if you call it constructive.

Fashion

Why does one act blind when they see a child dressed in a striped shirt and plaid shorts? Or make cutesy noises if they’re in their pajamas in Kroger? Because, I promise you, I have not been let off the hook for either of these fashion felonies. Either something is acceptable or it is not acceptable and it should not depend on the age or cuteness level of said offender.

Filters

This one is my main complaint. Much like a child, I don’t have a filter when it comes to saying what is on my mind. I think it and then it comes out. However, after getting many butt whoopings, I have learned to think twice and talk once. But a kid can literally say anything and it’s OK. For example, they say things like, “Why are you ugly”? Or, “How did your butt get so big”? Or, “I don’t like you anymore.”

If you are not going stop them from asking these questions at least stop laughing long enough so I can hear the answers that they are given. Some of us also want to know the answers to these questions.

Followers

Finally, it would just be nice to go back to the days when you could just blindly believe everything that you were told without having to take logic into account. Kids will literally believe anything you tell them and that is their saving grace.

Anytime I have to babysit, I will tell them cute things like, “When it’s raining that means God is crying. It was probably something you did, I don’t know.” I mean, I can have good, innocent fun like this for hours.

In all seriousness, I actually am not mean to children. I do like to embarrass my kids but I try not to actually upset them. But how nice it would be to go back to the days where you were so free that you could tell anybody anything!

They have no idea the power they hold in their grimy little germ mitts. They could get away with asking anybody they see to buy them something and they don’t do it. What a waste!


Author:

Real Estate Agent, Landlord, Micro-Investor and Finance Specialist

One thought on “Childhood is Wasted on Children

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