I have started my life over from the ground up multiple times for multiple reasons, usually because I made a bad decision in regards to who I picked as a partner to share my life with. Each time I picked myself up off the ground, I would say to myself, “Here I go again. I’m back at the bottom with nothing to show for everything I’ve done so far.” But I was wrong.
Starting over again so many times left me stronger, smarter, and only increased my perseverance. It wiped my slate clean in more than one way. It’s easier to clean people out of your life when you’re at the bottom. Because the fake ones in your life tend to disappear then. The trash takes its self out.
You can grow, reform, and reinvent yourself as many times as it takes or as often as you want. There is no rule saying otherwise. You don’t have to settle into society’s expectation or your parents’ expectations. Keep evolving and moving or stay stagnant if that’s what you want. Do whatever makes you happy in this short life you get to lead. I think when you stop growing and changing is when you stop living. Just be glad that it’s not 1899 and you’re not stuck with a jackass for life.
Always be open to trying new things and meeting new people.
I value all of my friends, old and new, but I am still always open to meeting new people that will bring something different to my life. There’s not one person in my life that has not either added value or taught me a lesson.
Trying new things is something I consistently have to work at because I am always ready to fall back on the comfort of my routine. There is not much more attractive to me than my couch, my pajamas, and my glass of wine in hand each night. With that being said, getting out of my comfort zone has always only been good for me. Being complacent and routine driven is what most people center their lives around. The one percent that doesn’t end up going further than they ever thought possible.
Start at the bottom if you have to but don’t stay there. Use the bottom as a stepping stone to the next level in life. Don’t get stuck working minimum-wage at a job you can barely stand. You will spend most of your life working so make it somewhere worthwhile doing something you enjoy. You won’t ever get back those days or years you lose so be intentional with your decisions. I have to remind myself often that life is about leveling up.
Consistently evaluate and eliminate people, places, or things that don’t bring value, joy, or support into your life. Life is too short to be spending it surrounded by fake friends or back stabbers or “Debbie Downers”. And when you mess up, don’t be afraid to apologize, but then move on. Everybody messes up.
Feel free to change your hair, your attitude, your surroundings, and your mantra as much as you want, but please don’t cut your bangs after you’ve been drinking. I wish someone in the medical community would explain why this happens during every woman’s emotional turmoil. It has to be an actual symptom of a mental illness. It is as if an internal instinct pops up telling you that if your bangs get chopped off everything will be all good.
Always compliment yourself because you are only what you believe you are. If you are self deprecating all the time, you will start to believe these things about yourself. Knowing that, we can assume the opposite is also true. So tell yourself that you are a beautiful person, perfect spouse, and an amazing friend on a daily basis. You can try throwing in a millionaire. That one hasn’t manifested for me yet, but I am consistently trying.
Above all else, practice gratitude. Be thankful for everything in your life that you have and less focused on what you don’t have.
You will not get it right all at once. I find that I keep getting better with every chance I’m given to start anew.