Posted in Humor

The Peacock is My Spirit Animal

Beautiful Peacock
Designed on Canva

Peacocks do not get enough respect as animals. They are continually overlooked and undervalued when compared to the rest of the animal kingdom. This confuses me because they are beautiful, majestic, and fabulous to a degree unheard of from the rest of the peasants… I mean, animals. I feel myself relating to this undervalued bird more often than I care to admit. So many people identify with lions and tigers and use their image to post on memes as a reflection of who their character is. Sorry, Ronald, but you’re more like a scraggly rooster. Let’s be real here. Brenda, you’re not a lioness, but you are a honey badger.

I, myself, have always related to the Peacock and like to consider it my spirit animal. We have more in common than I would care to admit. My sister would tell you I only relate to it because it has the word cock in its name. That is not true at all. That is only an added benefit. A bitchcock would be a much better title for the peacock, or me, but no one has gotten back to me yet about changing the name yet.

A beautiful peacock with it’s tail feathers sprayed out.
Photo by Vivek Doshi on Unsplash

The bird is attired in an especially ostentatious manner some would consider to be gaudy and I would consider to be amazing! It’s like I always say, “The more glitter and rhinestones, the better!” Or “The higher the hair, the closer to God.” My friend, the peacock, also showboats all around, proud as hell in its fabulous getup. In the 90’s, I also did that, but I was clad in a full denim outfit, formerly known as the Texas tuxedo.

The male peacock, especially, shows off his fabulous and extravagant tail feathers during mating season. He will fluff his butt (tail) out as far as it can go and strut his little heart out. I have done this myself and I’ve also had plenty of men show me up with their outfits. I can also relate to using my fiercest outfit as a ploy to seduce as I dance around the other sex (or just whoever is at Steak and Shake at the moment of my glory).

Few people are able to tell if a peacock is a female or a male unless they are a bird expert. Some may know the facts surrounding the genitalia of birds for other reasons that I am not aware of existing. But, I’m guessing the majority can’t tell. Many of you may not get the old SNL reference, but this bird is much like Pat on the skit show (from a few decades back). Sex is indeterminable. Is it a girl? Is it a boy? I don’t know, but I know it’s beautiful.

She/he is also beautiful, but don’t be fooled, it is feisty and will f$&k you up! I hear you and I understand you, my flashy bird twin with little man syndrome. I too have anger that far outweighs what I’m actually capable of.

We are also connected in the fact that, like me, it also screams when it wants attention. I have been known to talk super loud because I am under the impression people can’t hear the unbelievably witty remarks I’m making, but more often than not, they can and just aren’t impressed. I have been known to screech a few times too.

I could go on and on but I think I’ll just add Bitchcock to my resume. The more attributes the better. You can keep on pretending you’re a jaguar, Dick.

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Real Estate Agent, Landlord, Micro-Investor and Finance Specialist

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