Posted in Humor, Life, parenting, tips

Memory Making With Daughters

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As a parent of six kids, it is very hard to spend one on one time with each of them. However, it is essential that I make the time. I created a schedule where I try to go on a date night or day with one or two of them every two weeks. It’s as good for me as it is for them.

In this article, I have listed a few ideas that have helped us bond, have fun, make memories and become closer by going on these dates. I have also made this about girls because I tend to do different things with my boys. I will write about that later.

The older my children have gotten, the more they have tried to get out of spending time with me. I may let them get by with this if there’s a special event they want to go to but otherwise it is mandatory.

My daughters are night and day in both looks and personality. What they can agree on is that they love animals so usually both of them will pick the pet store to go to at least once a year.

My oldest daughter loves puppies, kittens, or anything fluffy and cute. She is a lot like me in that respect. She is now 21 and lives on her own with three very large dogs that she calls my grand dogs.

My youngest daughter likes reptiles. She wants to be a veterinarian and specialize in reptiles. I, personally, do not care for them at all. She has a pet lizard and turtle at home and she does a great job of taking care of them. That is a good thing for her because the alternative would be me releasing them into the wild immediately. I don’t do reptiles.

Mini Golf. This is something that my youngest daughter has chosen once or twice. We had a great time playing the mini golf and the arcade located inside

Update: She now despises mini golf which is apparently a new side effect of PMS.

Unlike my boys, who never read unless forced, both of my girls are avid readers like myself. They both are extremely happy to go and get a new book when they get the opportunity. All three of us are able to spend hours in a bookstore to relax, browse, and read.

The local art workshop is also a mainstay. My youngest daughter is my creative child so often do creative activities such as this. The place we go is a local business where you can go pick out a piece to paint. You can take it home or paint it there at the store.You can also sign up for a lesson on how to paint with acrylics on canvas. Either way, it’s a good time for all.

Being a mother is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I wouldn’t change a thing. And if I could go back in time, I would not let any precious moment pass me by.

For more of my articles please see my Medium account.https://link.medium.com/spYpLkSTk9

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Posted in Humor

2020: As Written By A Nine Year Old

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I have made up a fictional scenario that could be just as conceivable as any other as to why this year has been a complete disaster. I would like to relay it here and look forward to hearing all the input and arguments.

To appease the masses, in this theory, we will refer to God as a male. We will also understand that time passes differently due to Heaven being in another dimension. Thirty minutes up there would equal to five years down here.


Since the last world clusterf$&k, aka war, God has been sitting and doing his job diligently and silently. Finally, he determined that he was due a bathroom break with possibly a couple of cigarettes. Glancing around, he grabbed the first angel that he saw to cover him on his break. The angel’s name was Dennis and happened to be a child.

Dennis was only nine years old and a red head, which we all know is a lethal combination. He was determined to make some changes in the short amount of time he was in charge of things.

His first act in charge was to make a human that he intended to be only a cartoon character on a TV show. Since he had no idea what he was doing, he accidentally turned his creation into President of the United States by dropping his mold into orange paint. This creation of his had nearly started three wars before he had noticed what he had done.

Panicking, he sent a really bad flu season down, hoping it would fix what he had done. When that didn’t work, he invented a new species of bee that was deadly. He named them “Killer Bees.” He targeted a specific location and sent them straight to Washington. Little did he know, the president he was looking for was rarely there. He preferred being in Florida where he could golf.

Completely out of sorts and shaken now, he threw together some problems and sent them to Earth. One of these being COVID-19, the virus that would infect and isolate the entire world. At the time, being only nine, he was hoping to bring the people together, fix his mistake and drive out the imposters, but the masses only turned on each other.

By the time that God came back from his break, the world was in chaos. All he could do was shake his head as he tried to fix what Dennis had started. He sent down some help, but they were not heard in the hysteria. He sent love, but it was not seen with the brutality. He sent down cures, but they were blocked for profits.

He finally figured out a solution and started the wheels in motion. He decided that to fix these dire situations, the people would have to come together and turn to love and away from hatred. Only then could he stop what Dennis had set in motion. No one noticed because they were all at each other’s throats. Too selfish and arrogant to notice the help being offered, they once again turned their back on each other.

I would like to end this here, but I’m not sure what is going to happen yet and it scares me every second.

As published on Muddyum

Posted in Humor

Random Tips For Your Eternal Gratitude

I can’t tell you how to divide fractions, but I can tell you the easiest way to clean an intake vent or how to cure a hangover really quickly.

I have more tips than you could ever imagine written down or stored in my mind, but I’ve only listed ten in this article. Too much information all at once can overwhelm instead of educate. At least that’s what I tell myself.

A green shattered glass bottle
Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash
  1. If you break a dish and are not sure that you got it all swept up, lay a flashlight (turned on, obviously) on the floor and it will cast a shadow on any shards left behind.
  2. Wearing green on camera (both still photos and videos) will make you appear smaller. Your family pictures will thank me.
  3. If you come across a screw or bolt that won’t budge, pour some coke (the drink) over it and watch it loosen on up.
  4. Make rust disappear on hard surfaces by rubbing it with aluminum foil that has been soaked in vinegar.
  5. This is more of a warning than a tip, but at many bars the drink garnishments sit out for days and sometimes more. I would ask for no garnishments if I were you.
  6. Drinking two glasses of Gatorade has the same pain relieving effect as taking over the counter traditional pain relievers.
  7. Pound for pound, the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. I told my husband that my tongue game was strong AF!
  8. If you use your phone while it is charging, it will damage your phone battery. Before you know it, you will have to invest in a new battery for your smart phone.
  9. If you are having a coughing fit and can’t stop coughing, raise your arms above your head and it will cease! If you are anything like me, these fits will always happen in a quiet but crowded room.
  10. When making tacos put the cheese on before the meat. The cheese will melt and prevent the shell from breaking apart.But have a soft tortilla laying under it just in case. If anything falls out he will have a soft taco immediately.

I hope some, if not all, of these tips and tricks will be of value to you.

I hope you all read my next article which will cover my job as a rocket scientist. more of how I just pretend to be one actually.


How I Saved My MarriageI am most recently married again for the third time. I knew going into it that this marriage was going to be forever no…link.medium.com

Posted in Humor

Prayers: The Perfect Excuse

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Please stop sending prayers for healing and peace over Facebook when you read about a death or some other devastating event.

We hear it over and over again when we are at our lowest possible point in our lives. The trauma of a death, job loss, or divorce has already knocked us down.

If lucky, we might have a few friends that show up and do things to actually help us get through these ordeals.

The people that really want to help will perform actionable items such as offering you suggestions on where to find a job, a place to vent your emotions, company, or food. Sometimes a casserole is enough to make a difference. Doing anything is better than just saying that you will pray for them.

Our society has gotten away with thinking prayer replaces human kindness. I am sure that every downtrodden person appreciates the prayers. However, what they need is human help in addition to any godly request you might offer up in their name. Case in point, sharing something on Facebook will not save someone’s life but donating blood will.

In no way shape or form am I saying that praying is not a good thing. I am stating that it needs to be done in addition to not instead of actually helping. Prayers are not going to feed the hungry. Prayers aren’t going to help the lonely or the grief stricken. At least not right away.

Especially now, when this virus is making us all further apart from each other, we need to come together as humans in a community practicing kindness and empathy.

When you know someone is having a bad time or is at a low point in their life, show up for them. Make your face seen, your voice heard, and make your concern known. The world needs more of that.

We have all heard the saying that God helps those who help themselves. I also believe that God helps those that helps others.

The older I’ve gotten the more I’ve seen the absolute worst character traits in the people surrounding me. Ignoring anything bad around them is the way that used to live their life. Then they’ll show up at church on Sunday and perform some quick prayers and think that fixes everything. They think that washes away the sin of them turning their back on the downtrodden and the lonely.

They are quick to be around a fun person who is on top of the world. They are also the first to leave when ships sink. It would be nice during this time when many lose the friends they thought for others to step up to take their place.

In full disclosure, I am not religious but I am spiritual.

The time has come for us to worry less about proving that we are good Christians or religious. It’s time to start showing it. Whatever religion or non-religion you may practice, being a good person is what it’s all about at the end of the day.

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Photo provided by Unsplash


Here are some actionable items that you can do for someone who is going through a hard time. Please don’t think that you get to decide what is considered a hard time.

Whether it’s a trauma, financial downfall, or a mental illness, we are not put on earth to judge what is hard or not hard for others.

Listen

After the death of my sister, the only thing I wanted was to talk to someone about my memories of her and how I felt. But no one really wanted to talk about it and nobody showed up to hear about it. When they did, I could tell it made them uncomfortable so I quickly stopped.

Many people just want to talk and be heard. Being a shoulder to lean on counts for a lot more than you think it does.

Friend

Offer to do things with the person going through a hard time. More people than you know are lonely and just want company. Sometimes just being available to someone is the difference between life and death for them.

If someone reaches out to you, reach back. Don’t turn your back.

Advice

If someone has lost their job or home, sit down with them and help find the resources available to get them back on their feet.

Every single one of us on this planet has something that we are good at. Sometimes they just have to be reminded of that.

When someone is depressed, they often aren’t up to doing the work that needs to be done. Help them do it.

Babysit

Anyone with kids knows that parenting does not stop just because you are suffering. It is extremely difficult to be a good parent while you are recovering from trauma, worried about finances, or housing.

Offer to watch the kids. Offer to spend the day or even the weekend with the kids so they can get things done. Maybe they need to grieve in private. Don’t wait for them to ask. Offer your help.

Food

This sounds silly, but I firmly believe that food brings people together and unites them. It brings families together when they sit at the dinner table every night. It brings friends together when they meet for dinner once a month or have cookouts.

Do not underestimate the value of feeding someone going through a crisis. Drop off a meal, host them at your house, or take them out somewhere to get them away from the house.

Call

The simplest way to help someone it’s just to call and ask them if they’re OK and if they need anything. Too many times we know that someone is going through something and we feel like we should leave him alone. That is the last thing we should do.

Call them and call them often. then call them some more. If they want me to pray with them for their healing or anything else, this is the time to do it.


Maybe whoever is in charge of this place will listen to our prayers if we start showing that we mean what we say. That we are going to step up and help, too. Keep praying, but start helping.

Posted in Humor

Dig For Your Own Gold

How to dig for your own gold

Listen ladies, it’s time to stop being gold diggers. Now it’s time to start digging for your own gold (that means for you to start making your own money). I have never regretted earning a dollar, but I have regretted most of my decisions pertaining to my love life. Everyone, at all times, should have the financial ability to leave should it become necessary and be able to survive.

Financial independence is of the utmost importance for anyone in today’s world. Being dependent on another person for anything you need, other than love or moral support, is a dangerous situation for anyone to be in. I know because I’ve been there. Feeling stuck is a horrible feeling to have and, once I got rid of that feeling, I knew I’d never let myself feel like that again.

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Photo by Alexander Mils via Unsplash


We have all seen those pictures of miserable women in the early 1900’s with their hair in a severe knot to match their severe personalities. Beside them stood the equally as miserable looking husband. We aren’t sure who is beating who but we know something miserable is going down in that househol

We have also all seen beautiful and voluptuous young ladies draped on the arms of rich men up to four times their age. They are destined for a lifetime of his wrinkled paws all over her. She will spend a minimum of years having to swallow her own vomit in exchange for financial dependence. She does this instead of learning how to survive on her own. It’s absolutely heartbreaking.

I don’t want any of my children to be stuck with a jacka$$ for any extended period of time because they didn’t want to have to work. There is a satisfaction that comes with being self sufficient and I hope they take that feeling and use it to get ahead and stay there.

I think all of us, as parents, wish our kids would learn from our mistakes and failures, but it seems as if they are all doomed to learn the same lessons in the same hard way as we did. And it sucks, especially for us, because we see it coming and try to warn them. However, no matter what we say or how valid our point may be, it is a fruitless effort. I can almost smell the bad intentions of the young women and men my kids bring around the house for me to meet.

Even if you don’t make much money, put whatever you can aside in savings to be used in emergencies only. Hide it if you must. We all need an emergency account. The only thing sure in this life is that nothing is for certain. Be prepared for anything to happen, even the impossible.

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Photo By Ava Sol via Unsplash


I want my kids to figure out that they must never stop learning and growing as a person. It’s the only way to keep up with circumstances and technology that is rapidly changing around us. I hope they are able to find a way to take any situation and turn it to work to their advantage. I want this for everyone.

I hope at least one young woman will read this and I hope she will think back on it the next time she envies that rich, young girl with her eighty year old sugar daddy. I would like to imagine that she will show empathy instead of jealousy or hate. As women, we should all want more for each other than a life like that.

Posted in Humor

My Marketing Strategy

My Amazing Marketing Strategy

My husband not think that this would be an successful tactic. But I would like to point out that I am in sales and he’s not.

I’ve had many offers since this post. Some of them are absolutely ridiculous but that’s beside the point.