We spend a good majority of our life at our jobs or desks. Even if you have a job and career that you love, it is all too easy to get burned out. When you do, you will find yourself daydreaming about winning the lottery and being a woman or man of leisure when you know that will never happen. You fantasize about quitting and walking out right then regardless of the financial disaster it will cause you.
I’ve been doing some research on how to enjoy your job again because, just like in a relationship, there has to be a way to add the spice back. You don’t need to quit before you have put in any work to fix it.
I like to find joy in every part of my life. I also like to act silly in every part of my life. Have I been banned from three gynecologists? Yes, I have. Has Christian Mingle blocked my IP address? Maybe, but I’ll never tell.
Here are some ideas that I have come up with that will make your job more fun and less stressful.
Latch on to a coworker heedlessly
Find a coworker that you like, or almost like, and latch onto them like they are the best thing that has ever happened to you. If they get annoyed by your constant attention, just tell them that you give everything 100% even brown nosing. Call them on Saturdays and Sundays just so they know that you’re thinking about them.
Drink at work
This one is not for everybody. If you can’t hold your liquor well or you get angry when drinking, skip this section. I like to bring some vodka to work because, as everyone knows, it doesn’t smell. I wait until at least 1030 am before I pull it outbecause, let’s face it, I’m not a loser. At said time pull out the bottle, turn up the music, and have a little party at your desk. If management tries to object, just say that it’s for a twerking competition held at the local Kwik Mart. You will be representing the company so they have to support your endeavors.
Nominate yourself for a raise
Start by nominating yourself for a raise. When that doesn’t work, go ahead and just give yourself a raise. When it doesn’t show up on your paycheck, go to payroll and tell Janice you’ve had about enough of her shit.
Have weekly dance offs
Meditation, smeditation. There is nothing more relaxing than having a dance off when your wound up tighter than a man in a spelling bee. Once everyone sees what kind of moves you throw out, you won’t have to earn respect anymore. It will be given freely without justification.
Start rumors about everyone’s sexuality to the point where everyone is confused and no one knows what to believe anymore. When HR tries to get involved, just let them know that love is never a bad thing and ask them why they hate gay people.
Don’t wait for management, your family, or any supervisor to appreciate you or you may be waiting until your death. Go ahead and give out your own certificates of merit every Friday. Obviously, give yourself the best one. But then spread the love some around the office. Here are a few ideas:
Won’t Shut Up
Suck Up Of The Week
Most Hours In The Toilet
I hope these tips will help you as much as they have helped me. I’m now collecting unemployment. However, I’ve never been happier and I left with a good time being had by all. At least according to me, they had fun. Full disclosure: I was also escorted from the building.
Remember, you can work to live or live to work.