I have failed at being a morning person. It’s one of many things I’ve failed at. But, alas, we only have time for one today.
I have tried many times in many different ways to restructure my life. I want to be a morning person! I just can’t succeed at this one simple goal. Hell, I’ve been trying for 10 years. Now I’m old and it should just come naturally, but it doesn’t.
I have tried replacing habits. I have tried going to bed earlier. I have tried snoozing my alarm. I have tried getting up on the first alarm. I have tried an alarm clock that makes you do a math equation in order to shut the alarm off. My husband almost divorced me.
Failure is what I’m good at when it comes to mornings. It’s not just waking up that does me in. It’s dressing. It’s eating breakfast. It’s functioning in general. The main issue is just staying awake.
I do think I have narcolepsy, but my doctor won’t let me diagnose myself. He seems to disagree, although I’ve never been tested to my knowledge.
I have been an unintentional clusterfuck my whole life. Drama, tragedy, and stuff straight from a B movie will find its way to me even if I don’t leave my house. Even so, I can fix all that. Usually. Or time will fix it eventually.
My schedule is as follows. My first alarm goes off at 6:30 am. I hit snooze. I repeat this five or more times despite my intentions. At 7:05, my husband’s alarm goes off. I sit up and yell, “F**k!”
I rush around the room and trip multiple times while dressing. I run out the door 15 minutes late and make it to work five minutes late everyday without makeup. All my kids are late to school.
How do you fix a bad habit when it’s ingrained in you? This is not one of those articles where I tell you how I fixed my life at the end.
I genuinely can’t fix this about myself. Any tips or ideas would be appreciated even if I’ve probably already tried them all.
Many people, specifically my children, do not know the difference between being aggressive and being passive aggressive. So, I am here to educate the masses, but primarily them. You’re welcome. I will start with the definition of both aggressive and passive aggressive. Then, I’ll provide some examples to clarify. Or, some actionable suggestions. However you want to take it.
According to the dictionary, aggressive means ready or likely to attack or confront; characterized by or resulting from aggression.
To put it in simpler terms, I describe it as not putting up with one second of anyone’s bullshit. There is a difference, in my eyes, in being aggressive in response to a trigger versus for little to no reason. Such as the aggression causing syndrome, Little Man Syndrome. This is not a dig against anyone’s height or stature. I am talking only about Chihuahua’s and my ex-husband.
Passive Aggressive Behaviors
Again, according to the dictionary, passive aggressive means having the personality or characteristics of indirect resisting in response to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation.
In summary, Aggressive = bitch and Passive Aggressive = Little Bitch
Examples of both
One good example is when you do something extremely helpful for someone unappreciative and they don’t say thank you or show any sort of gratitude. The aggressive way to handle this is to punch them in the face or push them down while yelling, “Get some manners, Dillrod!”
The passive aggressive way to handle this is to whisper or speak very softly and say, “You’re welcome.” Even though they didn’t say thank you.
2. Another example is one my boss shows me constantly. He will get an e-mail with a request he considers to be beneath him. He will respond passive aggressively by typing, “This ain’t Christmas and I ain’t Santa Claus.” He also says this directly to people and via text.
The aggressive way to handle this same scenario would be to e-mail a violent threat over in response.
Please note: e-mails and text messages are admissible in court and as evidence.
3. Being from Georgia, a commonly used passive aggressive statement is saying, “Bless your heart.”
The aggressive version is saying, “F**k you.”
So, obviously, there are benefits to both. Pick which one you use wisely. There are also downsides to both.
I don’t have Tourette’s but I still shout things out when I’m nervous
I’m a fish out of water in a church environment. Actually, anywhere groups of strangers form. I get in a crowded situation and my mind just goes to mush. Then, my mouth opens and verbal diarrhea spills out.
If I was a real doctor, instead of just pretending to be one, I would probably diagnose me with Social Anxiety Disorder. So, obviously, I try and avoid big groups of people.
Nothing can be avoided forever. My friend’s mother passed away recently from COVID. I could not make the service because, I knew what would happen if I went, and I had to work. I didn’t want to look callous because I did care and wanted to show my support. So, I decided to go to the after service memorial, which was located at my friend’s house.
I took extra care at work to not over frazzle myself. I am out in the field a good majority of my day, which means I look like a hot sweaty mess by the time the end of the day comes. I made myself look presentable and raced as fast as I could to make it across town before the party started.
I don’t like making an entrance. I always prefer to be first so I can be the one staring at the newbies walking in. I got there, but I was not first. Or even fiftieth. People were everywhere.
I slunk behind people and entered the house. People were milling about all through the downstairs and the kitchen. I looked for my friend, her family, or anyone familiar.
I finally spotted someone I knew across the room. It was my friend Pete. I got excited to finally see a familiar face. I tried waving but he didn’t see me. He was immersed in a conversation with a grandmotherly figure. So I decided to slightly whisper his name.
“Penis!” I shouted.
You could hear a pin drop. The next few seconds were only comprised of silence, sweat, and the blood rushing to redden my face.
Obviously, I left immediately after stammering, “I meant Pete.”
The next time you do or say something mortifying, just remember me. This is the kind of social ineptitude that I am known for in my circle. But at least I can make you feel better about yourself.
I am a very straight-laced, down to earth person with gypsy tendencies. I can also be described as a redneck with an affinity for leopard print. Also, as a tomboy who loves long, dangly earrings. Or an uptight prude, if you’re listening to my children. So, I’ve always scoffed at those who labeled themselves as empaths.
According to the dictionary, an empath is a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual. However, I don’t think most of us that use the word think of it as paranormal activity. It’s almost as if our souls sense the other person’s soul. Our souls communicate nonverbally.
I just thought I was sensitive and/or paranoid.
As I grew older, I noticed my ability to read the vibes and intentions of others got better and better. Suddenly, I felt the bad vibes of the people I had been friends with for years. I tried to ignore it and told myself I was being paranoid. But, after my vibes turned out to be correct on two back to back occasions, I started paying attention.
The first example was when I started thinking my first husband was cheating on me. I ignored my instinct. I called myself paranoid. I would’ve saved myself a lot of heartache if I had paid attention.
The second time was when I felt a sudden coldness between myself and someone I had considered to be a best friend. She just stopped calling me. I knew instantly she wasn’t my friend anymore, I just didn’t know why. I found out just weeks later that she was badmouthing me to other friends. I realized that I had felt this coming. The reason didn’t matter anymore. I didn’t need people like that in my circle.
I can read the vibes of most people around me and once I focused on that, my sales at work far surpassed the quota I had always worked hard to barely meet. I started paying attention to all of my intuition. It has not led me astray yet, that I’m aware of.
I have found that when I go with my instinct I never regret it. And I don’t second-guess myself constantly. When I make that decision, I do it with confidence.
I have found myself being right so often now that it’s almost creepy.
I only wish that I had learned to listen to me forty years ago.
I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease at the age of 22. What started out as just weight, bowel, and digestive issues have now progressed to include joint pain and little to no immune system. I catch every bug my six kids bring around me. I worry constantly that the next virus will be my last one. But, I still have stuff to do here before I go home. I have spent countless hours of my life trying to boost my immune system.
I have employed every method known to man to rev my immune system up. I have spent hours of my life hoping and praying I couldone day function like other people seem to do.
I know I am not alone in this battle, so I am noting things that finally seemed to help me. If I listed the items that were worthless and did nothing but take my money, then you would be here for days reading this.
Vitamin C is no joke
I noticed an improvement within eight weeks once I started taking Vitamin C on a daily basis. Especially, through last winter. At my sisters surgeon, I started taking the 500 mg supplement one can purchase at the drugstore. I definitely could tell a difference.
It is always more beneficial if you are able to absorb your vitamins and nutrition through your diet. But as I work 60 hours a week, and have several kids who eat almost only chicken nuggets, it is easier said than done. So, don’t feel guilty about supplements. Anything is better than nothing, said someone once.
Sunlight makes you look and feel good
Most have heard of the sun’s benefits to both physical and mental health, but a lot aren’t aware that, back in the 1800s and since, many hospitals and physicians recommended fresh air and sunshine for almost everything. Of course, they also prescribed slug treatment, cocaine, and heroin, so maybe this wasn’t the best point to go with.
Regardless, every time I get sick, I will go sit outside for at least 30 minutes per day in the fresh air and sunlight. I can almost feel my body soaking up the vitamins and giving my immune system a boost.
Exercise is terrible but it does work
Exercise is the bane of my existence. I hate it. People that run for fun, especially early in the morning, apparently have never, ever had fun in their entire life. Don’t get angry with me, I do realize that it is some sort of addiction or mental illness. So, I generally keep my mouth shut.
Hatred of physical exertion aside, I am still aware that it’s healthy for you. So in desperation, I do try to combine exercising and housework. I love to multitask! especially when I’m doing two activities I hate.
As much as I hate both of them, these sadistic rituals are good for my immune system. I always feel better after I exercise. And I have felt good the few times I have seen my house totally clean.
Diets do not have to be torture
It is true. Everything we have been told growing up by the FDA, seems to be the truth. I still am confused as to how people are able to an entire food pyramid in one day. I feel amazing if I can do it in a week or two. So, I do count my intake on a weekly basis.
Vegetables, fruits, and chicken soup are essential, especially when you are struggling physically. I also swear by chicken pho. I eat it every time I feel bad. It always helps. I almost feel like it would heal a broken bone, but I will not test that theory out.
Elderberry is the fruit we never knew we needed
I am still skeptical, but the elderberry came to my attention in 2018. That year was a particularly rough flu season and I just knew it was a matter of time before I caught it.
I ordered these supplements online and began taking them daily. I started with the syrup and then I progressed to the more advanced gummy version. I have not gotten the flu since then. I know that’s not a terribly long time, but I accredit this to the power of the elderberry.
Water tastes like nothing
I have spent half of my life hating water and avoiding it. It tastes like nothing and one sip will have you urinating 49 times in a row. I would rather be dehydrated than urinate myself to death. but I’m not 12 anymore, so I realized it was time for me to grow up and enjoy the taste of cool tasteless fluid. Can you tell that I will do anything to boost my immune system?
Taste aside, I admit nothing makes me feel better faster than being hydrated. It makes a huge and immediate difference in the way I feel. I believe it also powers up our immune systems. It literally is the magic cure for everything.
Whether you are sickly or just wanting to power up your immune system, I hope these tips are as effective for you as they have been for me.
I pray that anyone reading this, and everyone else also, is blessed with good health as we head into another season of doubt and uncertainty.
How I met an amazing man after two awful marriages
After two horrible marriages, I was absolutely determined never to fall in love again. My heart was battered and bruised and I had my children to raise alone. I was also financially devastated since neither one of my husbands had ever opted to pay child-support.
People with similar values, lifestyles, and goals will find each other. It is as if our hearts are radars that search each other out in the dark. This works for the bad as well, I would think.As much as this is true, it is hard to find people that have the same exact beliefs as someone else does. It is even harder to find someone that is worthy of your love. It seems to get harder the older you get. Or maybe you just put up with less.
After dating and marrying two men that could not have been much worse for me, I finally found a love worthy of my heart. I just got remarried for the third and final time. I found a man that treats me like a Queen. He puts up with enormous amounts of my shenanigans. He is everything that I never thought really existed. He is stable and responsible. He is the peace to my flame.
I was not looking for love. I wasn’t trying to find him or anyone else. I was not dating at all. I was focusing on myself, my children, and my future after a traumatizing second marriage. It turns out things can go from bad to worse, as I learned in that second marriage.
People ask me all the time how I got so lucky to meet such a good man. They obviously don’t know about my first marriage or my second. This made me think about what I had done differently this time. I also took a closer look at some of the other people I knew that were lucky enough to find true love.
Social events can serve a purpose
As for my happy ending, I met my amazing husband through my neighbor at a cookout. My neighbor had been trying for a while to set me up with this friend of his, but I just wasn’t interested in dating at the time. I actually had no intentions of ever dating again much less getting married.
I went to the cookout, at my next door neighbor’s house, more out of boredom than anything. I knew some friends would be there and needed an excuse to socialize with some wine. Suddenly, my neighbor walks up alongside this tall man and I knew instantly what was going on. I was not interested, but I wasn’t rude. We chatted for a moment and then it was time to eat. He wandered inside to get his plate.
A few minutes later, he reappeared and I was shocked to see that he had made me a plate and had brought it to me along with a chair. He had even buttered my corn. Fast forward to now. We are married, I am madly in love, and we still say he won me by buttering my corn.
Not all people online are creeps
Believe it or not, two of my favorite married couples both met on Match.com. This really surprised me. I had always thought online dating or apps like Tinder were for just hook ups. I was wrong. I was told most people that are serious about finding love go to the paid sites. The people that are just looking for hook ups go to the free sites such as Tinder. Don’t kill the messenger, that’s just what I was told.
Schools and dog parks have plenty of similarities
90% of the couples I questioned met in school. They either met in high school or in their college years. They all have been together ever since. Personally, I am glad I did not meet my soul mate that early because I was able to have a little bit of fun before my life turned into a total disaster.
One couple I interviewed met at a dog park. Their dogs actually connected first. This is my favorite story of the people I asked. It reminds me of something straight out of a romantic comedy. Once they started talking, they bonded immediately and exchanged phone numbers. He called her that night. They have seen each other every day since then. Only six months later, they were engaged. Eighteen months later, they were married. And ten years later, they are still married.
Weddings don’t have to suck
Going to a wedding does not always have to be awful and soul crushing. One couple that I questioned met at a wedding of a mutual friend. They both contemplated seriously not attending. They are still astounded about how one tiny decision affected their entire life and how close they came to missing it. Remember that the next time you are sitting in your underwear, eating a bag of chips and thinking about skipping that invitation.
It seems to me that the happiest couples found love when they were not looking. They were happy and satisfied with their lives alone. And then, right when they least expected it, the right person came into their lives.
Be kind to others, work on improving yourself and be open to trying new experiences. You just may find the love you have given up on.
This made me curious though. I knew that I played a part in my meeting of them in before him. I was determined that I would do things differently after those marriages, but I never got around to that.I started looking at my group of friends that were married or in love. I asked the seemingly happiest couples about the circumstances surrounding their meetings.