Posted in Humor, Life, love

Sarcasm Is My Love Language

Love is not what you say. Love is what you do.

Sarcasm is my love language is written over a backdrop of Paris' Eiffel tower. Love is not what you say. Love is what you do.
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Is gentle scorn or sarcasm really worse than public displays of affection? I don’t think so. Apparently, I am in the minority with this view. I would much rather roast someone than hug them. Sarcasm is how I show my love. In other words, it is my love language.

Am I proud of this? No. It’s just who I am. I am not a very demonstrative person. I get that from my mother. We hugged on holidays and when I gave birth. Because of this, I am the most awkward hugger on the planet.

I have always been the type of person to show my love with gentle scorn, or sarcasm, rather than affection or generic platitudes. You will feel my love by the heat of my sarcasm. Except for my mother, obviously. She doesn’t understand sarcasm and would beat my butt into oblivion.

The people that know me understand that about me. They love me for it. The people that don’t know me well think I’m a huge bitch. They are not wrong, but I’m not the kind of huge bitch they think I am.

A man named Gary Chapman wrote a book entitled The Five Love Languages. In the book, Gary basically says that people show their love and receive love in different ways and it’s all about finding out what you or your partner’s love language is. This book seems to help people find the way to love their partner in the ways they need and understand. You could just ask your partner what they are missing from you in the relationship and save $24.99. Just saying.

I use attention, humor, sex, gentle bullying, and sarcasm to show my love to my husband. I think my love language combo would be a new mix for the author of the book. I am a pretty odd duck according to everyone that has ever met me.

My husband is actually the sensitive one that shows his love by holding my hand and doing chores around the house. He thinks he is doing those chores for me since he’s a man and thinks deep down inside chores are a woman’s obligation. He would never say that out loud of course. However, he acts as if he is owed a parade thrown in his honor after he completes them.

Multi-colored spray painted hearts
Photo by Renee Fisher on Unsplash

Love can be felt and seen in a million different ways. From a text checking up on you to a home cooked meal, love is not always tangible and physical. It is a phone call, flowers when you’re grieving, visits when you’re sick, and tears for you when you’re hurting. I believe that the little things are worth the most. They signify a real, lasting love.

I have always told my children, as they have grown up and experienced falling in love, and then their first heartbreak, if a love starts fast like spontaneous combustion, it will die just as quickly. If a love is built slowly from a solid friendship, it will be more likely to be enduring.

A beautiful hummingbird picture inside of a heart
Photo by Andrew Lane on Unsplash

If we focus less on how we receive love and more on the ways we can give it, we might not be such miserable dirtbags sometimes. Despite my snarkiness and sarcasm, I am very thankful for every little act of love and every kindness I am shown.

We can apply this principle to many areas in our lives. It’s the small actions, done consistently, that add up to cause the biggest difference made. Being a giver will always bring more back to you than being a taker will.

Love is not what you say. Love is what you do. Also, romantic love is not always the strongest kind, only the most glorified.


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Posted in Ideas, Life, life lessons, love, Marriage, Relationships, tips

Ways To Find A Person Worthy Of Your Love

How I met an amazing man after two awful marriages

A young couple enjoying romance and true love on a beautiful beach.
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After two horrible marriages, I was absolutely determined never to fall in love again. My heart was battered and bruised and I had my children to raise alone. I was also financially devastated since neither one of my husbands had ever opted to pay child-support.

People with similar values, lifestyles, and goals will find each other. It is as if our hearts are radars that search each other out in the dark. This works for the bad as well, I would think.As much as this is true, it is hard to find people that have the same exact beliefs as someone else does. It is even harder to find someone that is worthy of your love. It seems to get harder the older you get. Or maybe you just put up with less.

After dating and marrying two men that could not have been much worse for me, I finally found a love worthy of my heart. I just got remarried for the third and final time. I found a man that treats me like a Queen. He puts up with enormous amounts of my shenanigans. He is everything that I never thought really existed. He is stable and responsible. He is the peace to my flame.

I was not looking for love. I wasn’t trying to find him or anyone else. I was not dating at all. I was focusing on myself, my children, and my future after a traumatizing second marriage. It turns out things can go from bad to worse, as I learned in that second marriage.

People ask me all the time how I got so lucky to meet such a good man. They obviously don’t know about my first marriage or my second. This made me think about what I had done differently this time. I also took a closer look at some of the other people I knew that were lucky enough to find true love.

Social events can serve a purpose

As for my happy ending, I met my amazing husband through my neighbor at a cookout. My neighbor had been trying for a while to set me up with this friend of his, but I just wasn’t interested in dating at the time. I actually had no intentions of ever dating again much less getting married.

I went to the cookout, at my next door neighbor’s house, more out of boredom than anything. I knew some friends would be there and needed an excuse to socialize with some wine. Suddenly, my neighbor walks up alongside this tall man and I knew instantly what was going on. I was not interested, but I wasn’t rude. We chatted for a moment and then it was time to eat. He wandered inside to get his plate.

A few minutes later, he reappeared and I was shocked to see that he had made me a plate and had brought it to me along with a chair. He had even buttered my corn. Fast forward to now. We are married, I am madly in love, and we still say he won me by buttering my corn.

Not all people online are creeps

Believe it or not, two of my favorite married couples both met on Match.com. This really surprised me. I had always thought online dating or apps like Tinder were for just hook ups. I was wrong. I was told most people that are serious about finding love go to the paid sites. The people that are just looking for hook ups go to the free sites such as Tinder. Don’t kill the messenger, that’s just what I was told.

Schools and dog parks have plenty of similarities

90% of the couples I questioned met in school. They either met in high school or in their college years. They all have been together ever since. Personally, I am glad I did not meet my soul mate that early because I was able to have a little bit of fun before my life turned into a total disaster.

One couple I interviewed met at a dog park. Their dogs actually connected first. This is my favorite story of the people I asked. It reminds me of something straight out of a romantic comedy. Once they started talking, they bonded immediately and exchanged phone numbers. He called her that night. They have seen each other every day since then. Only six months later, they were engaged. Eighteen months later, they were married. And ten years later, they are still married.

Weddings don’t have to suck

Going to a wedding does not always have to be awful and soul crushing. One couple that I questioned met at a wedding of a mutual friend. They both contemplated seriously not attending. They are still astounded about how one tiny decision affected their entire life and how close they came to missing it. Remember that the next time you are sitting in your underwear, eating a bag of chips and thinking about skipping that invitation.

It seems to me that the happiest couples found love when they were not looking. They were happy and satisfied with their lives alone. And then, right when they least expected it, the right person came into their lives.

Be kind to others, work on improving yourself and be open to trying new experiences. You just may find the love you have given up on.


This made me curious though. I knew that I played a part in my meeting of them in before him. I was determined that I would do things differently after those marriages, but I never got around to that.I started looking at my group of friends that were married or in love. I asked the seemingly happiest couples about the circumstances surrounding their meetings.