Posted in Career, Life, property management, tips, Uncategorized

Maintaining Composure During Heated Situations

Staying calm at work

Curse words spewed out of my mouth and into the tenant’s face. This wasn’t the first time that I had been pushed to my breaking point by being screamed at, cussed out, and sometimes pushed around. As a landlord, aka property manager, I have many houses to manage all over every part of my city. I have learned how to deal specifically with each section of the public.

There are the elitist tenants who call me every second about everything. They, for the most part, cannot do any home repair items themselves. This includes changing air filters, smoke detector batteries, and resetting tripped breakers. They hide their ignorance by flaunting their money. They have been brainwashed into thinking money is the same as intelligence. They hide their loneliness by talking, whining, and complaining to everyone they meet.

There are the poor tenants who struggle to survive who blame me personally when they can’t pay their rent. They will drive to my office and threaten me if eviction is looming. They never call about maintenance issues unless it is dire because they just want to be left alone and don’t want anyone seeing the messy state of their frantic lives.

There are the young tenants who are living alone for the first time and need help with everything from how to pay rent, use of an online app to submitting a maintenance request.

Then there are the old tenants who live alone or with a spouse listening to the echoes of their children in the halls from years past. They look forward to any contact and will happily chit chat with someone who calls, from telemarketer to me or my staff, for hours.

At any given moment, I can go from being physically pushed and verbally abused to spending half an hour talking with the sweetest little old lady I’ve ever met. It took me a good year to learn how to maintain my composure during these swift emotional transitions. I had to create boundaries and try to stick with them, becoming never too mad, too attached, or too invested in any one person’s circumstance.

Of course, this doesn’t always work and sometimes I lose my footing. I have dropped my professionalism down the tubes and hit back, yelled back, babysat, bought food, bought clothes, and loaned rent money. I have regretted doing this most of the time. I usually end up getting taken advantage of once anyone sees that I have heartstrings to pull. I have people that have turned on me as soon as I helped them.

I would like to think I have learned my lesson, but someone will come along and test my boundaries and find them lacking. Setting boundaries is essential in this line of work, as in many others that deal with the public.

You have to work hard not to become jaded because people lie about anything if it benefits them somehow. My sense of humor and not taking things personally have really been the two biggest things to keep me successful in this career and not burned out and jaded.

I continue to always look for the little acts of human kindness that are shown periodically. That brings fresh air to every one of us. Sometimes those little acts are enough to keep going for.

By setting boundaries, keeping my sense of humor, and searching for human acts of kindness every day, I am able to survive this work and hope that I have made a difference to someone, somewhere along the way.


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Posted in Humor

Insomnia: The Home Remedy

Death came for my sister this year, turning my world upside down and my sleeping habits to ashes. I went to work every day and parented my children, but I was losing it on the inside. Maybe the unreleased grief caused insomnia or maybe it was just my age.

Everything I could have done differently was brought to the forefront of my mind when I closed my eyes. Past memories and conversations came alive again once the night descended. The rest of society would dream without the knowledge they had failed someone that day. They didn’t say goodbye or didn’t hug or didn’t appreciate it, but they were still ignorant of that fact, for the moment.

I knew this grief would pass. It was not my first experience with it. Insomnia was new for me though. It seemed that the night was just there to remind me of the things I avoided feeling or thinking during the daylight hours. Nothing internally had ever prevented my sleep before and I was shocked. My children were long past the age of keeping me up.

A blue moon.
Photo by haylee on Unsplash

I would dread the night and approach the long, silent hours already defeated. As someone who has always been able to sleep for six to nineteen hours straight, this was a huge shock to my system. It was so bad that I considered it torture.

I went to the doctor. Of course, they gave me prescription pills. The pills worked too well. I didn’t wake up for work three days in a row. This didn’t surprise me as I have always been extremely sensitive to medications. If you read my article on meditation, you will know I failed at all of my many attempts to master meditation. Nonetheless, I tried it yet again will the same results. I knew then that stricter measures must be taken.

I tried an app that promoted relaxation methods. One method was mindful breathing, which is basically what it sounds like. You breathe according to the inhale/ exhale rhythm that the app tells you.

Surprisingly, it did help calm me down when I got overly anxious, but it did not put me to sleep. I am lactose intolerant so I could not try the warm milk method, but I did try hot toddies and hot tea that promoted sleepiness. I hated the tea and got drunk on the other. I didn’t go to sleep, but I had a nice night.

Beautiful tea cup full of hot tea on a blue tablecloth.
Photo by Emily Bauman on Unsplash

This bout with insomnia didn’t take long before I started feeling the effects on my body and seeing the effects on my face. As an already intolerable grump, I got even crabbier and my temper got much shorter. I tried a strict routine with the intention of trying to sleep train myself. I bought a weighted blanket, essential oils, and CBD oil. I even tried sleeping sprays, which I had never known existed before this point. But Febreeze scented for sleep does not work.

The cure came by way of advice that I normally would have politely acknowledged but immediately forgot. It was the sort of cure my southern grandmother would have recommended that seemed almost worse than the complaint. Like the remedy to drink buttermilk, which tastes like a murder charge, to ease stomach pains. I will just wait out the pains, Grandma.

This was recommended by an older person that I am friends with and she told me to rub two drops of castor oil on my eyelids. I scoffed it off, but she was extremely convincing and I was extremely desperate so the fates aligned. I bought castor oil. No, all southerners don’t keep that on hand, but I will from now on. I did my wine, bath, skin, and evening bedtime routine. Then I dabbed two drops on each eyelid and rubbed it in.

I settled down beside my husband and told him it wasn’t working. Then, I woke up. I had slept over seven hours and I was amazed. I don’t know if the castor oil did it alone, or if my brain was just ready, but I will forever be in debt to that jar of disgustingness and my friend.

My insomnia has gone away for the most part and life has moved on for all of us, however stunted. We are learning a new way of life without her in it. That is what she would want us to do.

Continue reading “Insomnia: The Home Remedy”
Posted in Humor

Doomsday Prepping 101: Post COVID Disaster Tips

The COVID-19, also know as the Coronavirus, pandemic will not be forgotten by any of us any time soon. It has wrecked havoc on my life from getting my wedding venue and honeymoon cancelled the day before my wedding to ruining my son’s baseball career. That was just the beginning of the nightmare we were all about to endure. A nightmare that seems to have no ending in sight.

I will be the first to admit that I used to tease and make fun of the zombie apocalypse, end of the world obsessed people. They would all watch that violent show on AMC and then really believe that stuff would happen. Not only that, but, they believed it would happen soon. I also spared no ridicule for the doomsday preppers with their bunkers and massive collections of canned goods. I’m not laughing anymore.

I took a good and hard look at myself during this virus and found myself to be seriously lacking. My survival skills, on a scale from one to ten, were at a negative twenty. I had no stores of canned goods or bottled water. And, even worse, I had never even thought about toilet paper being the first essential item to all but disappear. I was totally unprepared. That will not be me the next time this happens.

I will be locked, loaded, and ready from now on.

The TP

When shit hit the fan, I was not surprised to see evidence of hoarding start to happen. Much like when southerners see a snowflake, the supermarkets started getting low on certain items, mainly milk and bread. That was normal. This time, instead of bread and milk, the people panicked and bought all available toilet paper. This was not normal.

Months later, I am still confused by this. I bought bottled water and canned food. My butt was the last thing on my mind at the time. You can’t eat toilet paper for survival, but you can wipe your butt across the yard.

A lesson was learned this year. During these last few months of chaos, I have had to borrow toilet paper and, once, had to drive two hours to my brother’s house to find some. I will never let my toilet paper supply dwindle down again.

Reading

There have been a few good things to come out of all of this. I have always been a book hoarder, both paper and digital, but now I can hoard them with no backtalk from my husband! He now understands we might need these to fully educate all of our offspring in the future. I hope they like Stephen King and Ken Follett.

I might be taking advantage of this situation a little, but he has also stockpiled a few unnecessary items. Nobody needs that many tree stands.

Alcohol

This might not seem essential to some. Tell me that after trying to homeschool six kids and work a full time job. Retraction: Tell me that after trying to homeschool MY six kids and work MY full time job. I will make sure plenty of wine is on hand from now on, no matter what. I will use whatever methods I can find to prevent being defeated by my life. If I have to learn how to make my own shine myself deep in the woods somewhere, then so be it. My grandfather did it and he was not the sharpest tool in the shed. Probably because of his moonshine.

Tip: some types of alcohol can also be used to make hand sanitizer supposedly.

Back to the homeschooling debacle. I can not begin to describe the trauma this home schooling stunt has caused me or the learning disabilities it has caused my kids. School is on track to reopen very soon here and I have never been more terrified to send my kids back there. It feels like I’m sending them straight to COVID.

I am leaning towards making them stay home. I would rather have them dumb, but alive. Of course, they want to go back to school and life as normal as soon as they possibly can, so I have not discussed this with them yet. I keep hoping the schools will delay things a little longer.

Gardening

I started gardening after all of this in preparation for the next global pandemic or food shortage caused by fear mongering. I know now that I need to know more survival, cooking, and gardening skills if I expect to survive the hunger games.

However, if we should actually ever drop down to a short supply of food, my husband is an expert hunter and fisherman. For those of you that are not so lucky, I would recommend starting a garden or considering taking a course on how to loot. You can just go back and watch some old episodes of CNN for the looting lesson. I wouldn’t recommend coming to my house, though.

As I work on myself and the new life that has suddenly become mine, I try to be optimistic and positive outwardly. Inside, I am patiently waiting for my life to get back to normal. Deep down, I think we all will be learning a new normal. Life from before is over.

Posted in Humor, Life, tips

9 Ways To Build A Life Worth Living

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I woke up in my forties and found myself adrift in a sea of yoga pants, identical personalities, and uninspired activities. Everything and everyone I encountered was interchangeable, bland, and boring. I decided I would never let that happen to me.

So, I took a good look at the people I was around on a consistent basis and noticed that they all were content but unenthusiastic and unmotivated. None of them were striving for more or continuing to grow in any way that I could see. Every day was the same as the one before it.

People that I formerly knew as outspoken leaders were now sharing the same opinions and beliefs as their spouses without knowing why. So much so, that they began to almost look-alike in addition to also sharing the same thoughts.

Two sheep on a grassy area.
Robinson Recalde on Unsplash

I thought and pondered on this for weeks. I heard people who spouted their opinions straight from Fox or CNN, talk about brainwashed individuals. They could not see the irony.

I could see the authenticity had left them somewhere along their way. I wanted to make sure I never lost myself. I didn’t know how to prevent it though. Then I thought about what made me different than them.

Read

I constantly read from almost every genre. I believe that this keeps my brain healthy and is one of the reasons I am a critical thinker. I have always been a person to ask questions. I want to know why things happen. I want to know how things are done. And most importantly, I don’t offer an opinion on something I’m not educated about.

Try new things

Growth is about allowing yourself to evolve. I aim to learn something new every day, whether it is from another person, a lesson from something dumb I did, or from reading an article.

I also make it a habit to try new activities and go to new places as often as I can. In the last month, I have started shooting a bow, making mosaics, and started growing my own vegetables. Even if I hate it, at least I can say I tried.

A camera on a ledge with the sky in the background.
Clay Banks on Unsplash

Teach

There is not a person alive that does not have insights or experiences to share with another. We are meant to pass our lessons on. At a minimum, share your experiences with your children and family as a legacy for them to have forever.

Give

Religion did not teach me this, but I live my life as a servant to others. Serving and giving are the two things that I get the most reward out of doing. I love seeing the downtrodden realize that someone cares or the shunned know that someone will stand up for them.

Give without expecting anything in return, but the feeling you are rewarded with. It is more than enough.

Woman falling off a ledge reaching out to a hand held out to help her.
Noah Bücher on Unsplash

Laugh

The theme of my life has been and always will be laughter. I think my best quality is being able to find something to laugh and joke about on an almost constant basis. I don’t understand people that take themselves so seriously. Lighten the f*&k up. We only get one life, or so I’m told.

Be Yourself

Whoever that you believe created this world did not put you here to be a replica of everyone else. I am completely original, and so are you. Stop trying to fit in and love who you are!

The world needs more people to push boundaries and defy the ordinary. That could be you if you stopped being a sell-out.

Have a creative outlet

I am considered to be a stoic person by certain members of my family. I don’t get overly emotional outwardly. But, despite what many think, I do have feelings and care deeply about plenty. I’m just awkward as hell at showing it.

Years ago, my former therapist recommended I take up a creative hobby as an outlet for my feelings. I don’t know if writing, making mosaics, or painting is getting the brunt of my emotions, but I do enjoy doing it.

It really does help me relax or calm down when I lose my cool, or I’m stressed out more than usual.

Reduce Stress

Being a walking ball of anxiety, I have a hard time with this even though I try hard to do it. Relaxing is something that has never come easy for me. I don’t watch TV, and I am usually running around working, parenting, or cleaning. When I do sit down, I fall asleep almost instantly.

With that being said, I have tried mediation, mindful breathing, stress exercises, drinking, and much more to reduce my stress levels. I haven’t found anything that worked much for me, but I am still optimistic. If I ever find a way to relax, I will really feel like I’ve made it in this world.

An image of a man standing on a rock with arms outspread in front of a sunset.
Xan Griffin on Unsplash

Buy Less/Do More

You will, most likely, never regret an experience with a loved one, but you will consistently regret material purchases. When faced with the choice of an item or an experience, always choose the experience. Memories will be the only thing you take with you when you pass on.


Most importantly, as I have recently learned the hard way, Memories are the only things left behind for us as well. Treasure the moments you are making them.

Posted in Humor

Prayers: The Perfect Excuse

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Please stop sending prayers for healing and peace over Facebook when you read about a death or some other devastating event.

We hear it over and over again when we are at our lowest possible point in our lives. The trauma of a death, job loss, or divorce has already knocked us down.

If lucky, we might have a few friends that show up and do things to actually help us get through these ordeals.

The people that really want to help will perform actionable items such as offering you suggestions on where to find a job, a place to vent your emotions, company, or food. Sometimes a casserole is enough to make a difference. Doing anything is better than just saying that you will pray for them.

Our society has gotten away with thinking prayer replaces human kindness. I am sure that every downtrodden person appreciates the prayers. However, what they need is human help in addition to any godly request you might offer up in their name. Case in point, sharing something on Facebook will not save someone’s life but donating blood will.

In no way shape or form am I saying that praying is not a good thing. I am stating that it needs to be done in addition to not instead of actually helping. Prayers are not going to feed the hungry. Prayers aren’t going to help the lonely or the grief stricken. At least not right away.

Especially now, when this virus is making us all further apart from each other, we need to come together as humans in a community practicing kindness and empathy.

When you know someone is having a bad time or is at a low point in their life, show up for them. Make your face seen, your voice heard, and make your concern known. The world needs more of that.

We have all heard the saying that God helps those who help themselves. I also believe that God helps those that helps others.

The older I’ve gotten the more I’ve seen the absolute worst character traits in the people surrounding me. Ignoring anything bad around them is the way that used to live their life. Then they’ll show up at church on Sunday and perform some quick prayers and think that fixes everything. They think that washes away the sin of them turning their back on the downtrodden and the lonely.

They are quick to be around a fun person who is on top of the world. They are also the first to leave when ships sink. It would be nice during this time when many lose the friends they thought for others to step up to take their place.

In full disclosure, I am not religious but I am spiritual.

The time has come for us to worry less about proving that we are good Christians or religious. It’s time to start showing it. Whatever religion or non-religion you may practice, being a good person is what it’s all about at the end of the day.

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Photo provided by Unsplash


Here are some actionable items that you can do for someone who is going through a hard time. Please don’t think that you get to decide what is considered a hard time.

Whether it’s a trauma, financial downfall, or a mental illness, we are not put on earth to judge what is hard or not hard for others.

Listen

After the death of my sister, the only thing I wanted was to talk to someone about my memories of her and how I felt. But no one really wanted to talk about it and nobody showed up to hear about it. When they did, I could tell it made them uncomfortable so I quickly stopped.

Many people just want to talk and be heard. Being a shoulder to lean on counts for a lot more than you think it does.

Friend

Offer to do things with the person going through a hard time. More people than you know are lonely and just want company. Sometimes just being available to someone is the difference between life and death for them.

If someone reaches out to you, reach back. Don’t turn your back.

Advice

If someone has lost their job or home, sit down with them and help find the resources available to get them back on their feet.

Every single one of us on this planet has something that we are good at. Sometimes they just have to be reminded of that.

When someone is depressed, they often aren’t up to doing the work that needs to be done. Help them do it.

Babysit

Anyone with kids knows that parenting does not stop just because you are suffering. It is extremely difficult to be a good parent while you are recovering from trauma, worried about finances, or housing.

Offer to watch the kids. Offer to spend the day or even the weekend with the kids so they can get things done. Maybe they need to grieve in private. Don’t wait for them to ask. Offer your help.

Food

This sounds silly, but I firmly believe that food brings people together and unites them. It brings families together when they sit at the dinner table every night. It brings friends together when they meet for dinner once a month or have cookouts.

Do not underestimate the value of feeding someone going through a crisis. Drop off a meal, host them at your house, or take them out somewhere to get them away from the house.

Call

The simplest way to help someone it’s just to call and ask them if they’re OK and if they need anything. Too many times we know that someone is going through something and we feel like we should leave him alone. That is the last thing we should do.

Call them and call them often. then call them some more. If they want me to pray with them for their healing or anything else, this is the time to do it.


Maybe whoever is in charge of this place will listen to our prayers if we start showing that we mean what we say. That we are going to step up and help, too. Keep praying, but start helping.

Posted in Humor

Dig For Your Own Gold

How to dig for your own gold

Listen ladies, it’s time to stop being gold diggers. Now it’s time to start digging for your own gold (that means for you to start making your own money). I have never regretted earning a dollar, but I have regretted most of my decisions pertaining to my love life. Everyone, at all times, should have the financial ability to leave should it become necessary and be able to survive.

Financial independence is of the utmost importance for anyone in today’s world. Being dependent on another person for anything you need, other than love or moral support, is a dangerous situation for anyone to be in. I know because I’ve been there. Feeling stuck is a horrible feeling to have and, once I got rid of that feeling, I knew I’d never let myself feel like that again.

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Photo by Alexander Mils via Unsplash


We have all seen those pictures of miserable women in the early 1900’s with their hair in a severe knot to match their severe personalities. Beside them stood the equally as miserable looking husband. We aren’t sure who is beating who but we know something miserable is going down in that househol

We have also all seen beautiful and voluptuous young ladies draped on the arms of rich men up to four times their age. They are destined for a lifetime of his wrinkled paws all over her. She will spend a minimum of years having to swallow her own vomit in exchange for financial dependence. She does this instead of learning how to survive on her own. It’s absolutely heartbreaking.

I don’t want any of my children to be stuck with a jacka$$ for any extended period of time because they didn’t want to have to work. There is a satisfaction that comes with being self sufficient and I hope they take that feeling and use it to get ahead and stay there.

I think all of us, as parents, wish our kids would learn from our mistakes and failures, but it seems as if they are all doomed to learn the same lessons in the same hard way as we did. And it sucks, especially for us, because we see it coming and try to warn them. However, no matter what we say or how valid our point may be, it is a fruitless effort. I can almost smell the bad intentions of the young women and men my kids bring around the house for me to meet.

Even if you don’t make much money, put whatever you can aside in savings to be used in emergencies only. Hide it if you must. We all need an emergency account. The only thing sure in this life is that nothing is for certain. Be prepared for anything to happen, even the impossible.

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Photo By Ava Sol via Unsplash


I want my kids to figure out that they must never stop learning and growing as a person. It’s the only way to keep up with circumstances and technology that is rapidly changing around us. I hope they are able to find a way to take any situation and turn it to work to their advantage. I want this for everyone.

I hope at least one young woman will read this and I hope she will think back on it the next time she envies that rich, young girl with her eighty year old sugar daddy. I would like to imagine that she will show empathy instead of jealousy or hate. As women, we should all want more for each other than a life like that.