Posted in Career, Life, property management, tips, Uncategorized

Maintaining Composure During Heated Situations

Staying calm at work

Curse words spewed out of my mouth and into the tenant’s face. This wasn’t the first time that I had been pushed to my breaking point by being screamed at, cussed out, and sometimes pushed around. As a landlord, aka property manager, I have many houses to manage all over every part of my city. I have learned how to deal specifically with each section of the public.

There are the elitist tenants who call me every second about everything. They, for the most part, cannot do any home repair items themselves. This includes changing air filters, smoke detector batteries, and resetting tripped breakers. They hide their ignorance by flaunting their money. They have been brainwashed into thinking money is the same as intelligence. They hide their loneliness by talking, whining, and complaining to everyone they meet.

There are the poor tenants who struggle to survive who blame me personally when they can’t pay their rent. They will drive to my office and threaten me if eviction is looming. They never call about maintenance issues unless it is dire because they just want to be left alone and don’t want anyone seeing the messy state of their frantic lives.

There are the young tenants who are living alone for the first time and need help with everything from how to pay rent, use of an online app to submitting a maintenance request.

Then there are the old tenants who live alone or with a spouse listening to the echoes of their children in the halls from years past. They look forward to any contact and will happily chit chat with someone who calls, from telemarketer to me or my staff, for hours.

At any given moment, I can go from being physically pushed and verbally abused to spending half an hour talking with the sweetest little old lady I’ve ever met. It took me a good year to learn how to maintain my composure during these swift emotional transitions. I had to create boundaries and try to stick with them, becoming never too mad, too attached, or too invested in any one person’s circumstance.

Of course, this doesn’t always work and sometimes I lose my footing. I have dropped my professionalism down the tubes and hit back, yelled back, babysat, bought food, bought clothes, and loaned rent money. I have regretted doing this most of the time. I usually end up getting taken advantage of once anyone sees that I have heartstrings to pull. I have people that have turned on me as soon as I helped them.

I would like to think I have learned my lesson, but someone will come along and test my boundaries and find them lacking. Setting boundaries is essential in this line of work, as in many others that deal with the public.

You have to work hard not to become jaded because people lie about anything if it benefits them somehow. My sense of humor and not taking things personally have really been the two biggest things to keep me successful in this career and not burned out and jaded.

I continue to always look for the little acts of human kindness that are shown periodically. That brings fresh air to every one of us. Sometimes those little acts are enough to keep going for.

By setting boundaries, keeping my sense of humor, and searching for human acts of kindness every day, I am able to survive this work and hope that I have made a difference to someone, somewhere along the way.

Success! You're on the list.
Posted in Humor

The Tween Daughter And The Chamber Of Chocolate

Literally overnight, I lost my child. Her love and affection seemed suddenly and completely lost to me forever. She went to bed a sweet, loving child of ten and woke up with a period and an attitude problem. I don’t want to trivialize this. It was not just an attitude. It was awful. I was not prepared for this.

My oldest daughter didn’t menstruate until she was thirteen, just like me. I blame my youngest’s excessive diet of chicken nuggets. Silently, nature declared defeat in the battle against my nurturing.

Suddenly, smiling was only for losers. And I was Queen of the loser club, gathering recruits everywhere I went. Everything that anyone in our household did or said quickly annoyed her to no end. I tried to not get offended by her sudden spurning of me, but my heart ached for the child I knew was now gone.

I called my mother one evening and was whining to her like I tend to do on most days. I told her I didn’t remember ever having an attitude like this or having hormonal rages. She scoffed and reminded me of how I treated her real quick. She also reminded me how I cried and literally stomped my feet at fourteen after being told I had eaten enough chocolate for the night. I locked myself in the bathroom for four hours after not getting tickets to the NKOTB concert, clearing delighting my parents with a break from me.

I have come to accept this inevitable change, but every now and then, I get a glimpse of my baby girl. Even so, I know the monster is just sleeping. I also know, as the mother of a grown daughter, that she will come back to me one day.

She will suddenly find herself calling me every day and missing the things she hates about me now. That is what is keeping me from despair.

I also know that by focusing on the growing pains, I am unable to see the masterpiece that is forming right in front of me. Through this suffering, a vibrant and brilliant woman will rise up ready to change the world.

In the meantime, I still have my dogs.

Posted in Humor

Random Tips For Your Eternal Gratitude

I can’t tell you how to divide fractions, but I can tell you the easiest way to clean an intake vent or how to cure a hangover really quickly.

I have more tips than you could ever imagine written down or stored in my mind, but I’ve only listed ten in this article. Too much information all at once can overwhelm instead of educate. At least that’s what I tell myself.

A green shattered glass bottle
Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash
  1. If you break a dish and are not sure that you got it all swept up, lay a flashlight (turned on, obviously) on the floor and it will cast a shadow on any shards left behind.
  2. Wearing green on camera (both still photos and videos) will make you appear smaller. Your family pictures will thank me.
  3. If you come across a screw or bolt that won’t budge, pour some coke (the drink) over it and watch it loosen on up.
  4. Make rust disappear on hard surfaces by rubbing it with aluminum foil that has been soaked in vinegar.
  5. This is more of a warning than a tip, but at many bars the drink garnishments sit out for days and sometimes more. I would ask for no garnishments if I were you.
  6. Drinking two glasses of Gatorade has the same pain relieving effect as taking over the counter traditional pain relievers.
  7. Pound for pound, the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. I told my husband that my tongue game was strong AF!
  8. If you use your phone while it is charging, it will damage your phone battery. Before you know it, you will have to invest in a new battery for your smart phone.
  9. If you are having a coughing fit and can’t stop coughing, raise your arms above your head and it will cease! If you are anything like me, these fits will always happen in a quiet but crowded room.
  10. When making tacos put the cheese on before the meat. The cheese will melt and prevent the shell from breaking apart.But have a soft tortilla laying under it just in case. If anything falls out he will have a soft taco immediately.

I hope some, if not all, of these tips and tricks will be of value to you.

I hope you all read my next article which will cover my job as a rocket scientist. more of how I just pretend to be one actually.

How I Saved My MarriageI am most recently married again for the third time. I knew going into it that this marriage was going to be forever no…

Posted in Humor

Eight Tips You Didn’t Know You Needed

Very few people know this about me, but not only do I love lists of any kind, I also love obscure but helpful tips and random facts that will never do me any good. I’ve been known to shout them out during conversations when I’m nervous. My loved ones seem to think this is funny. My doctor doesn’t.

There is literally nothing I can’t and won’t make a list about. This list is a collection of some of my favorite tips. I am an abyss of tips, facts, tidbits and home remedies but please don’t ever ask me to do math or public speaking. I can’t be perfect at everything.

Please remember to send your thanks in the form of likes, shares and follows.

Diet Coke
  1. Using Diet Coke as a mixer will get you more intoxicated (aka drunk) than it’s regular or sugar free twin. I will not elaborate on when or why I have had intoxication as a final goal (sometimes only) for my evening. I will reinforce that I have a total of six kids with my husband. And two dogs, two birds and a turtle. And a full time job. And a husband. Life is not always easy, am I right?
  2. If you love Nature Valley’s granola bars but hate looking like a crumb bomb went off on you and caused 19 casualties, microwave it for 30 seconds first. I don’t snack a lot. I’d rather just eat a full meal with meat and vegetables or a huge plate of nachos. But I do get a craving for these bars every now and then, especially the peanut butter ones. I have regretted eating them every single time I did it before learning this trick. This granola bar would definitely win the vote for most destructive snack bar.
  3. This one I’ve only heard about but I’m dying to try it. It’s so James Bondish and I’ve always thought of myself a spy. Seems like I’m a bad one that doesn’t work for anyone but that’s o.k. We all start somewhere. I’ve made many code words with people over the years but the only one that has stuck is the “get this creep away from me” signal from the bar to my girlfriends. Anyway, if you see a pickle stand at Disneyland, and you ask them (the workers of the stand) how their day was, they have to give you a free pickle! I don’t know what happens to them if they refuse or who you contact to get them fired. I’m not even sure what a pickle stand looks like.
  4. This tidbit might not be so surprising. Mountain Dew was originally made to go with whiskey which seems fitting to me. When I think of this, I imagine a bunch of coal miners in the hills of Appalachia drinking whiskey with a mountain dew mixer. They probably threw in an ounce of their local cocaine just to make it kick a little harder. They have a group picture of the whole crew in their matching overalls standing around on their five minute lunch break surrounded by pissed off donkeys and women that look like they’re being treated worse than the donkeys. This concoction is all of their’s favorite. Even the donkeys.
  5. I’ve seen this trick but never tried it. My friend used toothpaste to clean his headlights and they were impression-ably shiny. This is coming from someone who never, ever notices vehicles and treats hers like a dumpster. Before fixing your headlights, I urge you to please use it on your teeth. So many men have gotten the importance of teeth over car backwards.
  6. If you put your batteries in the freezer, it can double their life span. My sister told me this. I can only guess how she knows.
  7. Mix Nutella and milk, then microwave. Best hot chocolate EVER. Not that I’m an expert but in my experience it is. Feel free to send me samples of better ones if you want to argue about it.
  8. Adding vodka to your shampoo can strengthen split-ins and stop dandruff. Drinking vodka can make you shave your hair, and by default your dandruff, off. Trimming your hair can help split ends and using Head N Shoulders can also reduce dandruff.

I hope you put these tips to use immediately as I did. You can mix and match them or just check them off one at a time!

Disclaimer: I am not liable if someone tries any of these and gets hurt. People can make the simplest tasks into murderous death traps because they are generally dumb. So do these at your own risk!