Posted in Family, Humor, Life

My Siblings Are Amazing People, Despite Being Weird

.MA loving brother and two sisters standing together.
Canva

Some would call me an accident. And by some, I mean my mother. In full disclosure though, she always said I was the best accident that she’s ever had.

My sister was 15 when I was born and my brother was 13. So I didn’t have very many years with them around before they flew from the nest with little thought to the foundling left behind. Which could be the main reason why we never learned to hate each other.

Growing up, my brother was definitely my biggest ally and caretaker. He would pull me around in a box, which in hindsight is not that great. But apparently, I loved it back then. It’s not as fun when you’re 42, though. My sister didn’t spend much time with me when I was very young because she was a social butterfly and the queen bee of our little town.

My brother married the love of his life shortly after leaving for college. He excelled in his career and still is the best husband I’ve ever seen up close. He dotes on his family. He has continuously educated himself and moved up in every aspect of his life. I am only now just beginning to understand how important it is to keep growing and learning as a person.

My sister became my best friend when I was a little older. As a teenager, I thought the sun rose and set on her. She was my hero for many years.

As adults, we have both been prone to impulsiveness and bad decisions. We both love to prank people and can be somewhat obnoxious at times. There have been many moments in my adulthood that I wouldn’t have made it through, if she hadn’t been my ally. For the most part, we are always there for each other when we need each other.

There is not another man, other than my husband, that I respect more than my brother. If more men were as good at being a husband as he always has been, this world’s divorce rate would plummet. There is not another person on this planet that can make me laugh as much as my sister can.

I don’t want to make any of this go to their heads, because it will. And my sister cannot afford that at all. I just wanted to take a moment to praise them, because all I hear about from my kids how much they hate each other. Not all of them do that, but most of them do. And if they don’t say it, it is very evident in their actions.

I know they love each other, because when any one of them is sick they will ask about the ill one behind closed doors. I guess it would be considered a sign of weakness to them, if they thought anyone knew they really cared.

I pray that they will grow out of this feeling. Other parents have assured me that they will, but I never have had ill feelings towards my siblings so I wouldn’t know about that.

I would love to post a picture of my brother and sister, but one of them is immensely private. I don’t feel right about posting one and not the other. However, I will post their Social Security numbers. Kidding…

I would really love to hear about other people’s relationships with their siblings. I would especially love to hear about siblings that grew up not liking each other, but ended up becoming really close as adults.

In this life we will never truly be apart, for we grew to the same beat of our mothers heart.

Daphne Fandrich

Posted in Marriage

Which Type Of Marriage Is Right?

Elegant, stylish young couple beautiful bridge and groom on the stairs
Made With Canca

Choices are everywhere and we are the sum of our choices. Will you marry? Will you marry for love? Will you marry the same sex? Once you make those decisions then you will have to decide on what type of marriage you want. I was recently educated about the fact that there are more than a few types of marriages out there. Finding one that will work for you is the goal. As someone who is on her third and final husband, I know now that you and your spouse-to-be have to come together in the union that will work for you both. Regardless of how that looks to outsiders.

Traditional

The one we all know. We are one person marries another person with the intention of staying married forever. Usually has a huge ceremony involving a church, but can happen anywhere at anytime. My first marriage was in a chapel and my second was in my mother’s backyard. My final and third marriage was done overlooking a cascading dam.

Polygamy

Just from a marriage as when one person marries several others. This is usually the case with one man and many wives. Apparently, that is acceptable, but the reverse is not. Hey, I don’t make the ridiculously ironic bullshit rules. Anyway, polygamy is illegal here in the United States. It still happens, though.

Open

You’re in a relationship, but not really, because you can f$&k whoever. I would like to wonder how many people this type of relationship has actually worked out for. I would really love some more information on the logistics of this, so if any reader has insights to share, please email me at kylie@kyliesells.com.

Common Law

Being common law married means that you have cohabited as a married couple for a certain amount of time without making it legal. So the law made it legal in order to protect and give rights to long term partners, to a certain extent. This usually protects significant others in will disputes.

Arranged

This marriage exists all over the world, even in the United States, but it is not spoken about much. Usually the parents of both the bride and groom negotiate a match. Sometimes with the help of a matchmaker. They want happiness for their child, of course, but also focus on finances, caste, and religious aspects. Love comes last and is expected to grow in time.

An official pushing an Indian bride and groom’s head together.
Photo by Pranav Kumar Jain on Unsplash

Is monogamy a natural process or a man made policy? We all feel attracted to other people, so why would God, or whoever our maker is, put that in as if it was wrong? People have been disputing this for centuries. Many people feel that the look but not touch rule is a good policy. The bottom line is you both have to set absolute boundaries in a relationship. Crossing those boundaries is a relationship deal breaker.

My husband and I both have been cheated on and lied to so we both crave trust and dependability more than anything. We are the perfect team in this business called life and have no illusions about what each other expects. For us, personally, it is all about keeping the lines of communication open.

After researching this, I have come to the conclusion that you do whatever you need to do to make your marriage work or to make your life work. For some, or many, that may mean no marriage at all. Who really cares if some judgmental person wants to throw their two cents in about you being single? They are most likely miserable shits anyway.

Love yourself, do good things, help others, take care of your family and your parents, and go to bed at night resting easy. Whoever the God is in charge up there will only commend your efforts. You cannot change my mind on this fact.


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Posted in Life

The Great Loves Of Our Lifetime

The  Loves Of A Lifetime
Canva

Some people leave your life just as suddenly as they came and leave behind a person that is forever changed from having known them just for a little while. I don’t believe in fate, but I do believe that we are able to fall in love over and over again. There is not just one person out there for us. This fated soul mate does exist, but it is found within many not just one.

My mother told me that it is common to have three great loves, but I’ve seen first hand that some people have twenty or more. I’ve seen profile pictures changed more than underwear for certain people. These people go straight from the nice to meet you stage to the stage five clinger in one point two seconds.

Image for post
Photo by Nick Fewings Via Unsplash

I, myself, have loved a thousand souls in a million ways. From friends, family, and animals to strangers than have helped me unexpectedly, all of these encounters made me who I am today.

I will never forget the man who stopped and fixed my flat tire for me on the interstate while everyone else just drove past. The person I never met that donated the marrow, which saved my stepfather from death, is forever a shadowy but real person in my heart.

Some will remain a memory that comes back to haunt me forever. Being stuck in the past in not a good route to take. I try to be thankful for my experiences without ignoring my present moment to live in my past. I enjoy thinking back on my past, but I don’t want to live there.

Some people you will love quietly and from a distance for many years. Others you’ll love out loud. Some will never be returned or acknowledged.

Men in particular have a hard time letting go of the past. But while in a relationship they will do everything except appreciate the one in front of them. Once they’re gone, they will spend years regretting the loss. Women are the opposite. When they are in love, they will do any and everything for somebody. Once they have exhausted all efforts and leave, they are done and there will be no looking back.

Love the one you’re with. They, alone, deserve it. Let the others stay dormant where they lay.



Posted in Humor, Life

The Religious Need To Stop Talking And Start Doing

I recently learned that most of my religious friends were only pretending. I was always the odd one because I didn’t go to church or practice religion, but we just didn’t talk about it and we were fine. However, I didn’t expect that these “Christian” friends of mine would shun me so quickly for taking in a homeless person who we all knew from school. She had just gotten over a drug problem and was, according to her, trying to make a better life for her and her daughter. So, I moved her in. Just like that, my friends no longer felt comfortable at my house.

This shouldn’t have surprised me so much, especially since one of these friends had done nothing but let me down and be passive aggressive in the past few years. She just thought we were all too dumb to notice it, but we all saw through her cattiness. She would talk out of both sides of her mouth, as my mama always says.

But it did surprise me. Because this person made sure everyone knew she went to church on Sundays with her family. And she used to be different. She used to be someone who would help others. Now, she just talks shit about anyone in her line of vision. I guess she doesn’t realize yet how easily that person could be her.

Man with his back turned to people wearing hat that says, “Love Your Neighbor.”
Photo by Nina Strehl on Unsplash

I try not to let this hurt me but to see this as the final straw. Her character had finally been revealed to me and before this God that she pretends to try to impress on Sundays. I am better off without someone like this even though it has always been hard for me to turn my back on anyone. The feelings I have for her now will prevent me from forgiving this one of her misdeeds, though.

I don’t care if the person I took into my home gets her life back on track in the end or not because that’s not on me. I did my part. I took an action beyond saying, “I’ll pray for you.” I showed my love. I hope one day this friend, who left me for this act, will look in the mirror and fix the ugliness that has descended upon her character. I fear she might face a hard lesson in the future, if not.

We all fall down. Look around you and see who’s there for you when you do. It’s an eye-opening experience. It’s often not the ones we would imagine it to be. Unfortunately, all too often, the ones we expect the most out of let us down more often than otherwise. If I have learned anything the hard way, it is that not everyone has the heart that I do or the feelings I have. What may be important to me, might not be important to someone else.

Hand held up to the sun in a circle.
Photo by Daoudi Aissa on Unsplash

I’m fine with that. As long as we are talking about mayonnaise or hobbies. I do not hold well with friends that have bad characters. That is not something I can overlook as just a minor flaw.

I am not going to let this hurt me anymore. I have friends and, although I will miss her, I don’t need any more enemies. I wish her the best, but not with me.

I wish more religious people would put their words into action and their money where their mouth is.

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Posted in Content, Humor, Ideas, Life, parenting

Love Is An Action Word

Beauty doesn’t affect change, love does. — Kylie

I hear that I am loved more now than I ever did as a child, but I feel no more loved. I saw the love given to me by the acts shown or affection felt. My family did not say, “I love you.” I wasn’t hugged daily, told good job for scribbling nonsense, or given a trophy for participating in public activities or sporting events. And guess what? I’ve turned out fine.

I saw the love in my mother’s working and cooking. I saw it with my sister’s extreme jokes on me, my brother’s care of me, and when my stepfather took me to the doctor.

I guess that I’ve turned out fine is debatable, but I definitely could have turned out a lot worse. I am caring, loyal, and a hard worker who is self-sufficient and reliable. I also like to toot my own horn. These days, entitled teens run the streets outfitted with $20,000 starter vehicles and working none for any of it. Their character reflects this.

I have said those three little words thousands of times, but the actions of love that I took for those people meant more than my words did. I still stay in the habit of saying I love you to those that are close to me. However, I want them to look back and say they saw it and felt it also.

Mouth watering picture of slab of meat with brocoli and gravy.
Photo by Alex Munsell on Unsplash

Food

I put my heart and soul into my cooking, along with butter, so every meal I make for my loved ones is an act of love from me. I know who loves what and cook that for their special days, from birthdays to weddings.

I hope they can taste my love. I know they can see it once the weight starts piling on.

Teasing

This one is my main love language. I bully, but ever so gently, the ones I love the most. Sharing jokes, pranks, and humor with each other is definitely the way I receive love the best. Unless, of course, it’s clearly not funny and then I just extremely violent. Strangers don’t always know how to take me, but my loved ones love me for the sarcastic foul-mouthed delight that I am and wouldn’t want it any other way. Except for maybe my Grandma, God rest her soul, who got the whoopee cushion in church when I was seven.

Care

To be considered such a bully, I am actually quite caring. I make sure everyone knows that I am the friend they can call if they need something. I’m not the one just saying that. I will call, bring food, and show up if I know something is going on in your life. I will go to the hospital to see you and call your parents “mom” and “dad”. I only gently bully the ones that I love the most. If I don’t like someone, I am just really over the top polite to them. s


At the end of the day, my point is that so many more need to show love instead of just saying it. They say it almost as an automatic response to getting off the phone or leaving the house. I’m not saying to stop saying it, but show it too!

People never forget how you made them feel. For example, my love is a fire. It will keep you warm, but it will also burn the crap out of you.

Posted in Humor

Love Caught On Camera

My husband staring down at our blissful pupper, Snoopy
Photo Creds by Kylie (me)

I believe that this picture is the first time I have ever had the pleasure of seeing pure bliss or ecstasy on the face of an animal.

I also adore the love coming from the face of my amazing husband. He would deny all feelings like that of course, because he is a “man.” For God’s sake, he owns both camouflage and orange clothing!

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