Jump aboard the hot mess express
I have failed at being a morning person. It’s one of many things I’ve failed at. But, alas, we only have time for one today.
I have tried many times in many different ways to restructure my life. I want to be a morning person! I just can’t succeed at this one simple goal. Hell, I’ve been trying for 10 years. Now I’m old and it should just come naturally, but it doesn’t.
I have tried replacing habits. I have tried going to bed earlier. I have tried snoozing my alarm. I have tried getting up on the first alarm. I have tried an alarm clock that makes you do a math equation in order to shut the alarm off. My husband almost divorced me.
Failure is what I’m good at when it comes to mornings. It’s not just waking up that does me in. It’s dressing. It’s eating breakfast. It’s functioning in general. The main issue is just staying awake.
I do think I have narcolepsy, but my doctor won’t let me diagnose myself. He seems to disagree, although I’ve never been tested to my knowledge.
I have been an unintentional clusterfuck my whole life. Drama, tragedy, and stuff straight from a B movie will find its way to me even if I don’t leave my house. Even so, I can fix all that. Usually. Or time will fix it eventually.
My schedule is as follows. My first alarm goes off at 6:30 am. I hit snooze. I repeat this five or more times despite my intentions. At 7:05, my husband’s alarm goes off. I sit up and yell, “F**k!”
I rush around the room and trip multiple times while dressing. I run out the door 15 minutes late and make it to work five minutes late everyday without makeup. All my kids are late to school.
How do you fix a bad habit when it’s ingrained in you? This is not one of those articles where I tell you how I fixed my life at the end.
I genuinely can’t fix this about myself. Any tips or ideas would be appreciated even if I’ve probably already tried them all.