Posted in Humor, Life, Social Media, tips

Do You Want To Stop Someone’s Whining On Facebook?

Stop Facebook Whining
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Her posts were filled with self-pity, memes reflecting the character of strong women, pleas to the ones that got away, and cringe worthy desperation. — Kylie

I speak for the nation when I say, “Please stop your incessant whining on Facebook. We also don’t want to see a picture of your tears, your empty bed, or your cleavage.”

I can’t unfriend her or look away, try as I might. Might someone be more cringeworthy than me? Suddenly my obviously finding myself hysterical didn’t seem so bad to this odd mix of self-pity, love of her own eyes, and selfies. Her beautiful children would be featured every now and then, but normally were overshadowed by her fixation on finding her true love.

I have never wanted to bitch slap somebody more in my entire life. Then I realized, how was I doing anything but hurting her by continuing to watch this without saying something? I was being a mean girl, and that is not who I am.

So, I called her. I told her how she was coming across and she genuinely seem to not realize that. She admitted to wondering why she lost so many friends online recently. It made an immediate difference in her online persona.

So, instead of talking about her behind her back consistently, I went to her directly with the issue. Now, she’s in a better place and, unfortunately, I’m out of dramatics to watch unfold on Facebook. My husband is being a shit right now so maybe people are watching me and my passive aggressive posts and talking shit.

I just hope that is not my entire fifteen minutes of fame.I’m sure I will humiliate myself for another 15 minutes of fame somewhere along this road of life I travel.


Posted in Humor

Doomsday Prepping 101: Post COVID Disaster Tips

The COVID-19, also know as the Coronavirus, pandemic will not be forgotten by any of us any time soon. It has wrecked havoc on my life from getting my wedding venue and honeymoon cancelled the day before my wedding to ruining my son’s baseball career. That was just the beginning of the nightmare we were all about to endure. A nightmare that seems to have no ending in sight.

I will be the first to admit that I used to tease and make fun of the zombie apocalypse, end of the world obsessed people. They would all watch that violent show on AMC and then really believe that stuff would happen. Not only that, but, they believed it would happen soon. I also spared no ridicule for the doomsday preppers with their bunkers and massive collections of canned goods. I’m not laughing anymore.

I took a good and hard look at myself during this virus and found myself to be seriously lacking. My survival skills, on a scale from one to ten, were at a negative twenty. I had no stores of canned goods or bottled water. And, even worse, I had never even thought about toilet paper being the first essential item to all but disappear. I was totally unprepared. That will not be me the next time this happens.

I will be locked, loaded, and ready from now on.

The TP

When shit hit the fan, I was not surprised to see evidence of hoarding start to happen. Much like when southerners see a snowflake, the supermarkets started getting low on certain items, mainly milk and bread. That was normal. This time, instead of bread and milk, the people panicked and bought all available toilet paper. This was not normal.

Months later, I am still confused by this. I bought bottled water and canned food. My butt was the last thing on my mind at the time. You can’t eat toilet paper for survival, but you can wipe your butt across the yard.

A lesson was learned this year. During these last few months of chaos, I have had to borrow toilet paper and, once, had to drive two hours to my brother’s house to find some. I will never let my toilet paper supply dwindle down again.

Reading

There have been a few good things to come out of all of this. I have always been a book hoarder, both paper and digital, but now I can hoard them with no backtalk from my husband! He now understands we might need these to fully educate all of our offspring in the future. I hope they like Stephen King and Ken Follett.

I might be taking advantage of this situation a little, but he has also stockpiled a few unnecessary items. Nobody needs that many tree stands.

Alcohol

This might not seem essential to some. Tell me that after trying to homeschool six kids and work a full time job. Retraction: Tell me that after trying to homeschool MY six kids and work MY full time job. I will make sure plenty of wine is on hand from now on, no matter what. I will use whatever methods I can find to prevent being defeated by my life. If I have to learn how to make my own shine myself deep in the woods somewhere, then so be it. My grandfather did it and he was not the sharpest tool in the shed. Probably because of his moonshine.

Tip: some types of alcohol can also be used to make hand sanitizer supposedly.

Back to the homeschooling debacle. I can not begin to describe the trauma this home schooling stunt has caused me or the learning disabilities it has caused my kids. School is on track to reopen very soon here and I have never been more terrified to send my kids back there. It feels like I’m sending them straight to COVID.

I am leaning towards making them stay home. I would rather have them dumb, but alive. Of course, they want to go back to school and life as normal as soon as they possibly can, so I have not discussed this with them yet. I keep hoping the schools will delay things a little longer.

Gardening

I started gardening after all of this in preparation for the next global pandemic or food shortage caused by fear mongering. I know now that I need to know more survival, cooking, and gardening skills if I expect to survive the hunger games.

However, if we should actually ever drop down to a short supply of food, my husband is an expert hunter and fisherman. For those of you that are not so lucky, I would recommend starting a garden or considering taking a course on how to loot. You can just go back and watch some old episodes of CNN for the looting lesson. I wouldn’t recommend coming to my house, though.

As I work on myself and the new life that has suddenly become mine, I try to be optimistic and positive outwardly. Inside, I am patiently waiting for my life to get back to normal. Deep down, I think we all will be learning a new normal. Life from before is over.

Posted in Content, Ideas, tips, writing

5 Ways To Find Fresh Content Ideas

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I have been writing forever, but only a few months here on this platform. I have noticed a trend in articles about monthly earnings and content generation. And by a trend, I mean everyone is copying that one guy.

With that being noted, I have nothing much to contribute in regards to the earnings, so I will share some of the ways I come up with ideas.

Pinterest

Pinterest should just change its name to contact board because so many ideas are available right there for your grabbing. I’ll look in the today, following, and for you sections for inspiration.

Pinterest is also a great place to do research for articles that you might be playing around with in your head. It will need to be fact checked for sure, though.

Newsletter

Another good thing to use for ideas are newsletters that may come to your email. That’s why I sign up for as many as possible. My Apple newsletter is especially helpful in keeping up with current events. Reading another blog might stimulate an idea as well

I also like reading newsletters so I can know the minds of my competitors and, in one case, the super arrogant man I am determined to defeat on Medium.

Surroundings

I have used my surroundings many times to spark my creativity. I have used music, conversations, and scenery. My family, my experiences, and my extremely regular failures have also played a part in many of my musings. My amazing street cred, collection of hotel soaps,and former life as a gypsy fortune teller have also provided me with plenty to offer in my writings.

News

The news is full of current events, made up completely events, and past events that have been twisted to fit today’s agenda. You can take all of this garbage and put your own spin on it.

If nothing stimulates you or catches your fancy, just pretend something happened. Then write about it and maybe you can cause a viral or global panic. Fingers crossed.

My Sister

Not your sister, my sister. That’s right. I am offering her up for you to write about. There are so many things she does and qualities she’s missing as a human, that you will be ruminating for days on the possibilities.

That is the beauty of writing. There are so many common topics, but you don’t ever get the same exact opinions twice. Every writer has his or her own unique voice to lend to the situation. Even some morons that I’m tired of hearing from. Even politicians if they have had a few drinks.

Posted in Humor, Life, tips

9 Ways To Build A Life Worth Living

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I woke up in my forties and found myself adrift in a sea of yoga pants, identical personalities, and uninspired activities. Everything and everyone I encountered was interchangeable, bland, and boring. I decided I would never let that happen to me.

So, I took a good look at the people I was around on a consistent basis and noticed that they all were content but unenthusiastic and unmotivated. None of them were striving for more or continuing to grow in any way that I could see. Every day was the same as the one before it.

People that I formerly knew as outspoken leaders were now sharing the same opinions and beliefs as their spouses without knowing why. So much so, that they began to almost look-alike in addition to also sharing the same thoughts.

Two sheep on a grassy area.
Robinson Recalde on Unsplash

I thought and pondered on this for weeks. I heard people who spouted their opinions straight from Fox or CNN, talk about brainwashed individuals. They could not see the irony.

I could see the authenticity had left them somewhere along their way. I wanted to make sure I never lost myself. I didn’t know how to prevent it though. Then I thought about what made me different than them.

Read

I constantly read from almost every genre. I believe that this keeps my brain healthy and is one of the reasons I am a critical thinker. I have always been a person to ask questions. I want to know why things happen. I want to know how things are done. And most importantly, I don’t offer an opinion on something I’m not educated about.

Try new things

Growth is about allowing yourself to evolve. I aim to learn something new every day, whether it is from another person, a lesson from something dumb I did, or from reading an article.

I also make it a habit to try new activities and go to new places as often as I can. In the last month, I have started shooting a bow, making mosaics, and started growing my own vegetables. Even if I hate it, at least I can say I tried.

A camera on a ledge with the sky in the background.
Clay Banks on Unsplash

Teach

There is not a person alive that does not have insights or experiences to share with another. We are meant to pass our lessons on. At a minimum, share your experiences with your children and family as a legacy for them to have forever.

Give

Religion did not teach me this, but I live my life as a servant to others. Serving and giving are the two things that I get the most reward out of doing. I love seeing the downtrodden realize that someone cares or the shunned know that someone will stand up for them.

Give without expecting anything in return, but the feeling you are rewarded with. It is more than enough.

Woman falling off a ledge reaching out to a hand held out to help her.
Noah Bücher on Unsplash

Laugh

The theme of my life has been and always will be laughter. I think my best quality is being able to find something to laugh and joke about on an almost constant basis. I don’t understand people that take themselves so seriously. Lighten the f*&k up. We only get one life, or so I’m told.

Be Yourself

Whoever that you believe created this world did not put you here to be a replica of everyone else. I am completely original, and so are you. Stop trying to fit in and love who you are!

The world needs more people to push boundaries and defy the ordinary. That could be you if you stopped being a sell-out.

Have a creative outlet

I am considered to be a stoic person by certain members of my family. I don’t get overly emotional outwardly. But, despite what many think, I do have feelings and care deeply about plenty. I’m just awkward as hell at showing it.

Years ago, my former therapist recommended I take up a creative hobby as an outlet for my feelings. I don’t know if writing, making mosaics, or painting is getting the brunt of my emotions, but I do enjoy doing it.

It really does help me relax or calm down when I lose my cool, or I’m stressed out more than usual.

Reduce Stress

Being a walking ball of anxiety, I have a hard time with this even though I try hard to do it. Relaxing is something that has never come easy for me. I don’t watch TV, and I am usually running around working, parenting, or cleaning. When I do sit down, I fall asleep almost instantly.

With that being said, I have tried mediation, mindful breathing, stress exercises, drinking, and much more to reduce my stress levels. I haven’t found anything that worked much for me, but I am still optimistic. If I ever find a way to relax, I will really feel like I’ve made it in this world.

An image of a man standing on a rock with arms outspread in front of a sunset.
Xan Griffin on Unsplash

Buy Less/Do More

You will, most likely, never regret an experience with a loved one, but you will consistently regret material purchases. When faced with the choice of an item or an experience, always choose the experience. Memories will be the only thing you take with you when you pass on.


Most importantly, as I have recently learned the hard way, Memories are the only things left behind for us as well. Treasure the moments you are making them.

Posted in Humor

Weird is the New Black

Pink haired lady holding a candy filled shoe and a cupcake.
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I will be the first one to admit that I am weird as hell. I prefer to call it being a rare, limited edition. However you fluff it up, I love myself weird. There are enough vanilla people running the streets already! I’m so proud of how weird I am that I am going to break down all the ways that I am excessively weird. I hope somewhere a closet weirdo will read this and know they are not alone. Some of these items used to bother me but, the older I’ve gotten, the less f%^ks I have had to give.

I am not aware of how statistics work, but I can make things up just as easily as the next gal, so I’m going to state the fact that 10% of people are addicted to cocaine. I am in the 2% that are addicted to succulents. (Do you see what I did there? You can literally make up any statistics you want). Succulents are hard to kill, cacti like plants. I have a lot of them and continue to accrue them as often, or more often, as I kill them. I also talk to them. At one point, I tried to teach them Spanish. Actually, I was just practicing my skills. Not that they offered any insight.

I also have odd habits in regards to my clothing. I don’t like buying items I won’t use or get my money’s worth out of. Being extremely poor for a few years definitely helped me with money management. So, with that being said, I wear my clothes in the order that they are hung up in my closet. I start at the front. If a said item happens to be out of season (long sleeves in summer, etc.), I will hang in in the back and start the rotation again. I like to feel like I’m getting my money’s worth out of my clothing because I may or may not spend excessively in this category.

I absolutely hate the voice on my map app that I use to drive everywhere but I absolutely cannot live without it. I hate her/him/it so much that, when it tells me to take a left, I respond every time with, “No, YOU turn left! You piece of$&@?!’b ,?$& !” Or something to that effect.

I despise it when people name their dogs with a human name. I am not yelling, “Edward! Come here!” or “Jason, put that ball down!” It’s not right and I strongly feel that it should be made illegal immediately. Two good examples of perfect dog names are my dogs. The youngest mutt has the distinguished name of Baxter VonFerrell, III. My older gentleman pup is named Snoopy Donkey McDougal. We only yell out the middle name if they are in big trouble, which is the standard we all go by throughout the world, I believe.

Lastly, I would like to confess to you about my obsession with lists. I have hundreds of them on every subject you could ever imagine. I don’t remember exactly when I became a listoholic but it was within the last ten years or so. I plan to publish an article soon naming twenty or so of my favorite lists. I know I can’t be the only list obsessed person who is also, at the same time, a hugely disorganized wreck of a person. I consider all of my lists to be sacred. Reading, skimming, or even glancing at one could possibly earn you a throat punch.

So, yes, I am weird. I have the sense of humor of a twelve-year-old boy, I am obsessed with Will Ferrell, and I give out lectures like Oprah hands out everything. I am not only ok with my weirdness, but I love it. I used to try and imitate my friends and hide my weirdness by pretending to like golf and sweater vests. I got tired very quickly and stopped. They kept loving me anyway! I also gained new friends. It turned out, a lot more people accepted my personality than not. I did have a few look down at me but I think they were just hating me because I was free and they weren’t. It’s hard to feel bad for someone that is in the prison that they made for themselves.

My previous husband (current one is awesome) tried to stifle me. He succeeded for a while. He slowly robbed me of my friends and dulled my personality with verbal abuse and constant criticism. He tried to take me and turn me into a dull shell of a person. He didn’t succeed. I won then and I keep on winning.

Here is a link to another one of my life-altering, hard-hitting articles. Also, feel free to send an e-mail to kylie@kyliesells.com and I will add you to my random, unpredictable newsletters that will update you on my life and make you feel a whole lot better about yours!